Would you like fries with that?
by Assassin Ninja Spy
Summary: In a strange, alternate universe, where Turians play basketball and Shepard works in fast-food, what will happen to a young, blooming, inter-species relationship?
1. The Clerk-Girl and the Jock

I'm not dead!

This story is inspired by my experiences at the fast-food place where I currently work at (I'm in high school, so I can't do much better) including, but not limited to: the awesome supervisor, cranky old people, the awkward "holy sh*t, he is really cute" moments, **THE FUCKING GREASE**, and much more!

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**The Clerk-Girl and the Jock**

Jane Shepard places the last of the overly-processed food onto a tray, calls out the order and, with a forced smile says,

"Have a nice day!" as the cranky, old Volus shuffles away. With a sigh and a brush of the back of her hand against her face, she grabs a spray bottle and starts to wipe down tables. When she straightens, she scratches her nose and groans internally as she feels the unmistakable bump of another zit popping up. She blames her face always being covered in fast food grease to the disgusting amount of blemishes blooming across her once clear skin.

Shepard has a strong hate-love relationship with her job.

On the one hand, she loves her co-workers (especially her funny, and more than a little quirky, Salarian supervisor) and her paycheck that goes straight into savings.

On the other hand, her aggravatingly stupid, Batarian manager has been riding her ass, the customers always seem to have something crawling in their panties and the _grease._ Jane can't help but shudder as she feels her short hair stick to the top of her head, weighted down by all the oil and fat in the air.

There's a musical tingle in the air as a customer opens the door to the shop. Shepard puts down her bottle and walks towards her till. She glances towards the door to see the new customers.

A group of young Turians, around her age – _maybe_ a year or two older. There are three of them in total, all tall and lanky. They're chatting rapidly and laughing easily. One of them has a ball, about the size of a basketball, tucked under his arm. With slightly closer inspection, Jane realizes that they're dressed in Turian-style workout clothes with shorter sleeves and thinner material, but still thicker and tougher than anything a human would wear.

_ "Must be the plates,"_ she thinks absentmindedly, realizing then that she's never gotten to know a Turian well.

The group stands a little away from the till, all looking up at the fluorescent but fading menu above her head. The left side, the larger menu, is clearly labeled 'DEXTRO' in obnoxious red writing. The right side, significantly smaller and with much less variety, is labeled 'LEVO'. Their eyes immediately pull to that side.

Shepard stands patiently at her till and waits but eyes the Turians with open curiosity. She had been born after the first contact war and was the first generation not to hold any real grievances against Turians for deeds past and so her open fascination was tolerated.

She finds that they're similar to humans and yet vastly different. She once heard her mother say that they're the '"over-exaggerated 'perfect' male." Jane is inclined to agree as her eyes trace the broad shoulders narrowing down into a small waist. She also allows her eyes to flicker to their faces. The markings stand starkly against their grey hued carapaces.

One of them finally approaches her till to place his order. As he talks, the other two come up behind him, ready to order as well, apparently. She begins listening to them as she runs through the familiar conversation with her current customer. One of them chuckles quietly to his friend.

"Tell her then!" The one talking has dark plates and bright orange face paint. His tone is teasing as he laughs at his friend.

"Nah, I think I'll pass," this one has a light grey carapace and striking cobalt face paint. He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly and switches the basketball from one arm to another.

Jane finishes up the order and prepares to help the orange-painted Turian. As she does, she can't help her eyes from flicking over to the third Turian. When he finally approaches her till, she finds her smile isn't forced at all.

"Hi, how can I help you?" there's a genuine warm note in her voice when she talks to him and, with horror and embarrassment, Shepard realizes that, somehow, words like 'cute' and 'handsome' have crawled into her mind.

"Hello," the cobalt-painted Turian flicks his mandible in a smile and Jane feels colour rising in her cheeks.

"_Oh god, oh god, don't trip over your words, oh god," _he finally lowers his eyes from the menu to meet hers. Her breath catches for a moment and she covers it with a light cough. All Turians have piercing, avian eyes, but his are as much wells as they are probes, the startlingly blue colour matching his face paint.

He finishes ordering and hands over a few credit chits. When Jane hastily grabs the money, her fingers brush his for a moment and she feels her face flame.

"I'll call it out when it's done, if you want to sit," she smiles at him. When he finally leaves she breathes a sigh of relief. The throaty, duel-toned sound of Turian laughter floats over to her as he rejoins his friends.

Their orders are quickly sliding down the chute towards her and she bags them all appropriately. When she gets to the last bag of food, _his_ bag, she hesitates for a moment. Before she can lose her nerve, she pulls a pen from her breast-pocket and hastily scribbles down a note on one of the napkins, shoves it in the bag and calls their orders out.

She watches his back as he leaves and realizes she's shaking.

* * *

Guess what she wrote?

I'm assuming if you've ever worked in fast-food, you can relate to some of these things.

No, I've never done this, as I'm a chickenshit.

Yes this will be continued.

Review if you liked, alert if you want to see more and favourite it if you think it was beastly!

Thanks guys,

ANS


	2. The Call

Sorry about the wait and the length of this chapter. Life got kinda busy there... I'll update sooner this time, I promise!

Enjoy anyways! I'm really looking forward to the next two chapters of this story ^.^

Shoutout to Zuguzita for their catch in the last chapter. I had accidentally switched dextro and levo so they were in the wrong spots . Thanks buddy!

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**The Call**

Garrus snaps up the last of his meal and reaches into his take-out bag for a napkin. As he goes to wipe his fingers off, a smudge of black catches his attention. He opens up the folded serviette and twitches his mandibles in surprise.

* * *

Shepard is sitting at home doing homework when her omni-tool pings her of an incoming message. She jerks so hard that her knee hits her desk. She answers and, after a brief a pause to compose herself,

"Hello?"

"Jane?" Her stomach does a backflip as she hears the unmistakable flang of a Turian.

"Speaking!" she can't keep the warm glow out of her voice.

"It's Garrus, we meet on the Citadel today," _oh god, he just sounds so confident…._

* * *

"Hi, Garrus!" _Humans usually aren't so happy, right…? Did- Is she this happy to be talking to me?_

* * *

"So, I uh- I was just wondering…" _Wondering, wondering, wondering _what_?! I can feel my heart in my throat, this cannot be healthy…_

* * *

"Wondering what, Garrus?" _What do you think, human? No- don't get mad at her for your own fear._

* * *

"Do you want to, uh, go out some time, maybe?" _Keep it together Jane, keep. It. _Togethor_!_

* * *

"Yeah, of course! Saturday is good…?" _She is _definitely _this happy to be talking to me. Huh, wonder why._

* * *

"I'll see you at one? In front of that Ramen place in Zakera Ward," _Do they sell Dextro food there…? What should I wear…?_

* * *

"Sounds good! I'll see you then!" _That went surprisingly well… Oh spirits, what do I tell Dad?_

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If that was **at all** confusing, let me know. Because I don't know how it turned out but I really wanted to get inside each of their heads as this was happening so you could really see what they were thinking.


	3. Preparation

Hello all! Sorry about the delay on this chapter, that was due to a couple different reasons. First off, I'm on spring break and I am the laziest fuck of them all during my breaks, I've literally just played Mass Effect for the last week and a half. Second, I was having issues writing this in a way that didn't make it seem the focal point of the story - I want parallels between Shepard and Garrus, but girls (generally) take much longer to get ready then guys, so I had to tweak Solana's age for my own mad purposes *maniacal laugh*. Anywho, forgive me and enjoy!

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**Preparation**

Jane's omnitool pings a reminder at eleven, not that she needs it. She has been sitting at her desk trying to do homework but mostly just staring at the clock, watching the seconds tick by.

As soon as it goes off, she jumps up and scurries to the bathroom. She closes the door, turns on the fan and cranks the water till it's steaming. By the time she finishes, she is forced to crack the window open.

Wrapping herself in a towel, she sprints to her room and begins scanning her closet. Jeans, t-shirts, a skirt or two…. The search is looking hopeless when she catches sight of a slip of blue. Jane pulls out the offending colour and gives a small gasp. It's much too fancy, but…

She bites her lip as sets it aside as the winner.

Stepping over to her mirror, she lets out a groan of anger to see another two zits blooming across her skin. Sneaking over to her parent's room, she grabs her mother's makeup basket and tiptoes into the bathroom once more, locking the door behind her. Pulling out a tube of concealer, she does what she can before deciding on the rest of her makeup.

She picks up brown eye shadow, planning to go for something simple but, feeling inspired thinking of Garrus' bright tattoos, she sets the small container down. Pawing through the basket, she comes across a set of colours simply labeled "Midnight". Popping it open reveals a dark blue paired with a shimmering black. Jane timidly dips into the colour and paints herself in a bold smokey eye.

_Not done yet…_ She has her hair curler plugged in and now makes delicate ringlets to frame her face. Sneaking back to her own room, she pulls on her clothes, slips into her heels and steps in front of the mirror.

_Holy shit…._

* * *

Garrus reaches the end of the vid and claps his mandibles tight to his face. _What have I gotten myself into…?_ He'd spent the better part of his morning watching old movies concerning the courting of human girls. A bouquet of flowers? Dinner at an expensive restaurant? He shakes his head to clear his thoughts. _A shower should help._

Stepping into the large bathroom, he cranks the water all the way to hot and tries to reign in his thoughts. It was just lunch, not a big deal, right?

…Right?

Garrus turns the water off and heads back to his room, deciding on just dressing nicely and hoping the rest plays out. He opens his closet, flicks through for a moment and gives a groan. He leans forward and his head hits the wall with a _thunk_. It's at that moment when Solana walks in.

"…Garrus?" He gives a grunt, not moving. "What's up with you?" She comes in and makes herself comfortable on his bed. With considerable effort, he pushes off the wall and looks at her.

"I, uh, have a date," he scratches his mandible self-consciously as his older sister squeals.

"Who is she? Where did you meet? Tell me _everything_. Wait- no, when are you supposed to see her? One? Garrus- oh spirits, it's already quarter past twelve! We have to hurry, you can explain later," she stands up and shoos him away from the closet. She quickly takes a tally on his clothes before shaking her head with a _tsk-tsk._

"So like you not to have anything nice. C'mon, we need to borrow stuff from Dad. You're about the same size," she grabs her brother's hand and drags him, protesting, to their parents' room. Digging into the closet, Garrus' older sister lets out a trill of success. She walks over to Garrus, eyes sparkling.

"Sol… No, just-"

* * *

Solana smoothes out the fabric and pushes him in front of a mirror.

"Garrus, you look…" He says nothing, just twitches his mandibles.

* * *

Jane tiptoes down her stairs, hoping to sneak out before-

"Jane?" _Damn._

"Yeah, mom?"

"Where are you going sweetheart?" Shepard's mother walks around the corner and lets out a gasp of surprise.

Jane is wearing a rich blue, strapless dress that ends around her knees. The fabric falls in layers from a jeweled belt that sits above her hips. She has pulled on her brown leather jacket and silver heels. On her neck she wears an ornate necklace her mother had given her.

She opens her mouth to explain, but her mother just walks over and hugs her.

"Oh, my baby! My baby girl is growing up!" She holds her daughter at arm's length. "Honey, you look beautiful. I don't need to know where you're going all dressed up like that, I just know you're going to meet some boy. I want you home by eleven, all right?" Shepard's mom pulls her daughter in for a hug before shooing her out the door with tears in her eyes.

* * *

Garrus is almost out the door when his dad spots him. The two don't say anything, just stare at eachother. Garrus twitches his mandible sheepishly.

"So, when do we meet her?" Garrus is thankful for his father breaking the silence.

"I hadn't thought about it much, dad… We just met," his father's browplates raise in surprise.

"First date dressed in a suit? I'm guessing Sol had something to do with this," the accused happens to walk past at that moment.

"Hey, he looks fantastic," she shoots over her shoulder in injured tones. Garrus' father laughs, easing the remaining tension.

"Garrus," his father pauses for a moment, "be home before midnight." Garrus smiles a Turian grin.

"Yeah, dad."

"And be good to her," Garrus flicks his hand noncommittally, the door closing behind him.

* * *

Yeah, stuff and stuff. Shep's mom - I think most people can relate to a female relative doing that. Sorry Shep. Also LOOK! I have links so you know what the fuck I'm talking about without me getting into it! Simply replace the "DOT" with a "."Enjoy:

Shep's Dress: _www DOT lilyboutique DOT com/wp-content/uploads/wpsc/product_images/41%20(6 4).JPG_

Shep's Jacket: _www DOT polyvore DOT com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=l&tid=67975833_

Shep's Eye Makeup: _3 DOT bp DOT blogspot DOT com/-Q8R9doQfCPo/UPMWfsr_SFI/AAAAAAAAA40/EwMDP2xkZ CI/s1600/2 DOT jpg_

Shep's Necklace (1,000 points for being awesome if you name where this is from! Without cheating!):_ fc00 DOT deviantart DOT net/fs71/i/2011/210/6/4/evenstar_necklace_stock_by _ponystock-d421a11 DOT jpg_

Garrus' Tux: _24 DOT media DOT tumblr DOT com/b6e836791e032d11151d64cb2590 ** DELETE THIS** a64f/tumblr_mjap3f2oLM1ql2lfco1_r1_500 DOT jpg_

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**Edit: **Fuck. They're all broken. Shit bollocks. Well, I'm sorry guys, but it took a long time to even get them like this, and they _did_ work when I tested them before, so obviously Fan Fiction hates me. If you want to tinker around and see if they'll work eventually, be my guest, but I'm giving up on it. Also:

I really don't know what to say. I don't know if I'm going to keep publishing my work on fanfiction. I've noticed a growing trend of horrible flamers, who make direct attacks at authors because they aren't following the guidelines of what stories can and cannot be published. It's absolutely fucking ridiculous. The fact that stories are censored on here for their genre or style is stupid. Flat out fucking stupid. Are they harming anyone? No. Are they less of a story because they're written like a script instead of like a classic novel? No. If your catchphrase is "unleash your imagination", don't put ridiculous restrictions on the authors. Just fucking don't.

So yeah.


End file.
